Saturday, November 14, 2009

Why men get fat in Saudi

So this is how it happens. Man X comes to Saudi on contract for a year. He goes through a lot during the transition, but eventually settles in. He can't convince his hunny at home to come with him, or he doesn't have a hunny. Nearing the end of year one, his favourite pants rip a couple of times and his trusty belt struggles to hold his guts in on the last notch. Finally Man X gets on a scale and finds he's gained 15 pounds. Why? Why is he so fat now?!

1. Not a walkable city - temps make it unbearable for half the year plus the city is not designed for it. No mass public transport systems (segregation would be an issue), no substantial green space, basically, no point to walking anywhere at any time.

2. You get fries with everything.

3. Men on their own go to work all day and end up eating out all the time. Problematic because of #2 and no women around to tell them to chew or breathe during meals. This is worsened when men go out to eat with other men who measure manhood by portion sizes.

4. Cultural friction increases workplace stress. This increases stress eating. Problematic because of #2

5. Lack of entertainment options other than eating and shopping.

6. It gets lonely and you work hard, so why not treat yourself to a bit of cake? Or a whole cake? Or three whole cakes? Who's going to stop you?

7. Mayonnaise

8. Ice cream

9. No one to impress here.

10. Lack of peer pressure to be thin - Friends A, B and C are fatter than you, so by these new standards, you are actually not that bad. Therefore, let's have a hot dog.


Robyn said...

You made me literally laugh out loud... hot dog? Sure! Why not?

Sounds like an honest assessment!

maria said...

This is a very funny post. yet sadly so true.

Stacy said...

...and I just ate an entire packet of pringles. I should go downstairs to the gym... tomorrow. I might go make some 2min noodles for dinner instead.

There's really not a big focus on exercise here. I wish I could go for a walk around the block but all the loitering men makes me feel rather uncomfortable.

I noticed that I also walk with far too much purpose in this country. I must learn to adopt the 'Saudi Saunter'.

Orchidthief said...

yeah, marhaban to the land of slow. The hubster gained ten pounds here before I put an end to the madness. Perhaps you might be better suited to taking a million laps around your compound - that's what we do. Unfortunately, some areas are not lit up or populated enough for people to feel safe at night taking walks, especially if you don't look like a local yokel.

Peter D. said...

Love it, been there, done that and then moved on to Eggs on toast etc to keep trim. There is only so much sweet you can eat.

AAF said...

I agree..

Tarek said...

I agree, and I agree with point number 9 the most :)

~ NooNee ~ said...

So stay in ur damn country if u don't like it here! Instead of creating a whole blog about it!!
I HATE expats who come and take residence in OUR COUNTRY and are bitchy about everything here, if u don't like it then leave!! or at least be grateful!!

Anonymous said...

lol I know this post is old but I gotta say you are absolutely right!!
I'm a saudi my self and I do agree with you so no need to be rude ~ NooNee ~..!
until Riyadh be a walkable place use the treadmill or perhaps the gym ..

Orchidthief said...

Thanks guys! I'm so flattered people are visiting my little post. It was inspired by true events ;)

Orchidthief said...

noonee the only appropriate course of action to take is for you to move to Canada and write an even bitchier blog about living there!

Brainteaser said...

sadly this is true of what's happening in Saudi there aint much of activity to do in public or any sort of entertainment. we need to create something to prevent the society from Obesity which has been increasing the past couple of years in Saudi.

Regarding what noone said, before you should've say something like that, 1stly check the saudi life style it's more comparable to the western everyone wana an american. and correct me if im not mistaken most of you vacations are to the states or Europe and your dream life is to live in either of those countries wither was to pursue your studies or if it was for good, please think again before you something like this to these peeps that have been a big help to the country!

Rami said...

loving your posts! very entertaining! Keep em coming!