The jetlag the JETLAG!

The hubster once told me that travelling West to East is often worse than travelling East to West. After hearing his explanation pontificating on the difference between losing hours and gaining hours, I filed his statement under "ridiculous" in my brain for about a year, along with the notion that delayed planes can "make up time in the air". Notably, I was wrong on both counts to accuse my poor hubster of talking nonsense. First of all, planes CAN make up time in the air as I've witnessed this very phenomenon take place, and secondly, the trip from Toronto to Riyadh is much much worse than the reverse. It's not just because the Korean food in Toronto is so much more awesome than it is in Riyadh so you're more excited. Wikipedia sort of explains the whole thing, and I can tell you from multiple trips crossing the Atlantic that losing hours completely screws up your circadian rhythms.

For me, the only thing that really works is waiting it out. Taking supplements and sleeping aids make me no less groggy during the day. The trick is to not succumb to the Nap Fairy - she is an evil succubus.

Google earth frightens me

Okay, so does anyone else feel slightly alarmed that you can now float down to "street level" view on google earth and basically get a 360 degree view of any chosen spot in any chosen city as if you are standing right there?

yes yes, it's very cool, and my first reaction to it was that it was totally awesome that I could see my friend's car in her driveway as if I in the middle of the road in front of it. That happy feeling drained into dismay when I scrolled over to my high security compound in Saudi Arabia where I could see the exact layout of the inside of my compound and view pictures posted by random people on the internet of our swimming pools, restaurant, buildings, etc. etc. It's not a 360 degree view, but it's clear enough to make me feel threatened and paranoid that any random person can download Google Earth and pinpoint the perfect place to throw a "gift" over the wall.

You all know what I mean by "gift", right? RIGHT?!!

the obligatory expat meltdown

Okay guys, now that I am over being stressed in Riyadh and have sunken into my relaxed retired stage, I can laugh about this.

A while back, probably on my second trip to Riyadh, I had a little incident at a grocery store that shall remain unnamed. The day had gone by quickly and I had gotten wrapped up with something I was doing at home. Suddenly, the prospect of cooking dinner was upon me but we had no food in the fridge and I had promised my husband a nice home cooked meal in the morning. (note to self: never promise anyone anything ever) I called the driver and asked him to come as soon as possible to take me to the nearest grocery store. And of course, when you need them to come quickly, they come very very *very* slowly. Fine and dandy, I said, as long as I get there. Well I got there, and began speed shopping. Part way through, there was some kind of muffled announcement that I couldn't understand. I was so focussed on my shopping that I didn't notice the doors to the grocery store closing. At the checkout counters, it finally dawned on me that prayer was fast arriving, so I rushed to try to find a short lineup, but at this point there were so many people lined up in each line, and cashiers disappearing by the minute, that I became panic stricken. I frantically chose a line. When the cashier cashed out the person before me but refused to do my groceries as well, I saw red. The hourglass was empty. I had lost.

For whatever reason, that day my neat bale of frustration collapsed in a heap with that last straw. Irate, I yelled at the cashier to cash me out while I slammed my groceries onto the conveyer belt. CASH ME OUT! Tomatoes. CASH ME OUT! Onions. NO HALAS! F*@K HALAS! Beef. IT ISN'T PRAYER YET!

Of course, no amount of shouting or cursing was helping. Instead, I was attracting security guards, which is always a great sign that your heaping public pity party has been a magnificent success. When I saw them coming, I knew it was time to cut my losses and I slipped out the last open door empty handed, still seething, with many sets of eyes boring into my back. To sweeten the humiliation, while I was waiting for my driver, the cashier and his buddies came out to laugh at me.

In retrospect, this whole situation makes me laugh quite a bit. I made such a scene over what? Over taco night??? The whole assumption that I would be able to get away with shopping last minute is just ludicrous in Saudi, especially given that I can't drive. I actually find it quite funny that I yelled at people and then couldn't drive away from them.

I'm writing this not because I want to lash out against Riyadh. It's just that I want you all to know that if you have a meltdown at some point because it seems like the city is deliberately sabotaging your plan to be happy with life - I understand, and it's okay. We've all been there. And if you haven't been there, you'll get there...and then you'll get past it.

some airlines to use

Ok, so because a lot of expat time in Saudi is spent figuring out how to get out of Saudi, I thought this might be useful for those of you who are there and thinking "I need a break!" ...one myth that you might think when you get to Riyadh is that travelling must be cheap because everyone is doing it all the time. Nay. Thou art wrong. It's true people travel all the time and it's not because it's cheap, it's for sanity. Unfortunately, aside from major hubs like Paris, London, Frankfurt,etc. you are often looking at flights with connections when you go on vacation - something you will despise, but slowly, in time, accept.

For what it's worth, here's a breakdown of popular airlines in Riyadh:
Qatar - good food (like so good that you'll ask your neighbour if they're going to eat the cake or not), good service, online check in has some glitches, overall, one of the best in the region to fly with. On the expensive side.

Emirates - good food, good service, but long distances usually result in insanely long layovers in Dubai. Good news is that they will provide you with a hotel stay in Dubai as long as you call in to book it. For whatever reason the demographic makeup of this airline seems to be a lot of working class from the middle east. Also, tix tend to be pricey.

Lufthansa - your standard airline, generally reliable unless snow closes down their Frankfurt airport... This is a pretty popular option for those who can't afford the long Dubai layovers of Emirates. Don't expect anything more than average, but at least they are generally better than Air Canada - the national blight and terror of the skies. Unfortunately, when the two are paired together for routes and there are problems, you can be sure neither airline will take the blame.

Turkish Airways - decently priced, so it's popular with travellers. Don't spring for their business class, it's a waste. Planes are not the nicest, but they do the job, i.e. they haven't crashed in a while ha ha ha...ok sorry, couldn't resist.

Etihad - haven't flown with them but heard good things about them.

Saudi Arabia Airlines (Saudia) - haven't flown with them but heard bad things about them.

It's not a complete list, so feel free to chime in readers, if you've had a good or bad experience with an airline flying out of Riyadh. I am all ears if you have recommendations on what airlines to use.

the utter quiet

For those unemployed expat women who come to Riyadh accompanying their husbands who have jobs, compound life is very quiet. Aside from sometimes hearing kids playing on the street, it's just always quiet, always sunny, and it can be isolating if you allow yourself to stay cooped up. For those who are more introverted and lean on others to pull them into a social network, it can be lonely.

On the flipside, those who attend compound events and go on the shopping bus regularly can find themselves quite busy socializing. Some women get really into hashing and desert trips. Some get onto the coffee morning circuit and even make good money selling their crafts or sausages, or what not. And a lot of women elect to sign up for a teaching job at an international school, though the hours can be bad and the pay isn't high.

For many, all the available quiet time could drive you insane, though I view it a bit differently. Riyadh is usually a place of transition for couples and families - and the quiet affords you all the opportunity to indulge in the hobbies that you've always wanted to pursue, and gives you time to reflect, something you usually don't have time for when you live in the West. And as always, time away from home gives you an appreciation for the luxuries you've had the good luck to grow up with.

Departing Riyadh

no, no, its not what you think - not for good. What with all the travelling I've been doing lately, I thought I'd post something I wrote waiting for my plane at Riyadh's airport.

It’s a very special place. It’s almost always clogged with men travelling in packs. Abayas are not required at the airport, but given the amount of men around who do not consider staring rude, I tend to keep mine on until I pass through customs.

Security is always interesting because women go through a private section to be searched. Sometimes this can be nice, because on occasion they'll shuttle the women through ahead of the men. Most recently I was greeted by an arab woman who was on her cell phone during the entire search and communicated using gestures and angry noises. Maybe she wasn’t angry, but her eyebrows were certainly drawn that way. This was the first time my bra went off during a search where security wanted to know what was inside (answer: my metallic boobs). Also of note - the men’s prayer area, denoted by a large section of rugs. It’s quite a sight to see people on it in the open. At any given time, about half of them are engaged in the holy act of napping.

There’s a lounge at the airport that people can pay to get into. It costs 100 riyals and is totally not worth it. Firstly, it’s tiny. Secondly, the food sucks. Thirdly it’s always crowded. Fourthly, the bathrooms are never free. Fifthly, four reasons are enough to steer clear, let’s not be greedy.

I confess I am one of those hoverers during boarding. I always bring a big carry-on with me so I like to be among the first to board the plane to get that coveted storage space. I am seasoned in the art of strategic lineupping. Of course, even if you’re first in line you won’t necessarily be boarded in an order that seems logical and fair. Occasionally, depending on the airline and the types of people with tickets on your aircraft, you can have "the dome" formation of line-up, which is not a lineup, it is a bottleneck rush of madness.

Despite its drawbacks, the big crowning glorious prize is that at the end of it, you get to board a plane and go on a trip to visit friends or family, or be a tourist. For that, many expats would agree, the price they would be willing to pay is limitless. I'm no exception!

Riyadh Zoo vs. Wrist Slitting

Which one wins for being the more fun thing to do? You be the judge.

This past weekend turned out to be fantastic wonderful weather. Sun shining and tummies full from a buffet, we set out for our first visit to the Riyadh Zoo. It seemed like the perfect weekend diversion.

After the first few exhibits, it turned into a pity-fest for us. The orangutans were almost bald, and one of them was limping around on a wounded leg.


It's a bit of a shock for a westerner to see animals being liberally fed by the public. There is a good reason why you are not allowed to do so in any other zoo, and it doesn't take a genius to figure out that maybe junk food isn't good for animals (in much the same way it isn't good for humans) not to mention any of the psychosocial factors that weigh into having stuff pelted at them. Popcorn, chocolate bars, used napkins, empty bottles - you name it, it was thrown at an animal at some point. I'm sad to say that it wasn't just the children behind things like that. Makes you wonder whether the right animals have been locked up!

And then there were the curious exhibits that seemed to throw random animals together. See if the below picture makes any sense whatsoever to you. Enlighten me if this mimics any kind of natural habitat anywhere on the face of the earth, and where this mystical place might exist.


On the upside, we did get to see some beautiful animals. The white tigers were stunning and they seemed to be in good shape.


I suppose the whole idea of a zoo itself might be a remnant of our past. They originated before things like television, internet and digital cameras, and it would have been the only way people got to see anything exotic. It seems wrong these days to domesticate wild animals for entertainment value.

The thought of these poor things living through the sweltering heat of a Riyadh summer makes me feel terrible. I'm far from a crazed animal activist (see previous entry on cats), but even I regretted the visit simply on the grounds that humans shouldn't kick ostriches in the face when their child has just offered them a piece of garbage to chew on.

Seriously, what kind of sociopath does that?!

Seriously!

Now you've been warned, so visit at your own risk...