Monday, January 3, 2011

His Cheatin' Heart

Expat wives who have husbands moving to Saudi for work fall into two camps - one that hears preemptive warnings against leaving your husband alone in Riyadh, and the other that hears this when they arrive. Sooner or later every woman hears about the 17 year marriage that fell apart when the husband moved to Saudi Arabia and cheated on his wife.

Why you ask? Why would a faithful loving husband suddenly throw away his long term marriage for some romp in the sack with a hussy homewrecking nurse? Well there are a lot of factors but the number one cause from your anonymous internet expert is loneliness. There is really no kind of isolation quite like the Riyadh variety, and with the culture shock and work stress, a man can really disintegrate at an alarming rate into a blubbering mess in dire need of intimacy, cuddling, and...we'll call it "coochicoo"

Of course there are a few additional factors that I think are unique to this environment that make expat men especially prone to cheating in Saudi.

There is a kind of "macho culture" in Riyadh - men generally associate with the men from their offices or compounds and there are just not enough women around to keep them gentlemen. Not that this occurs in every office, but the lack of women in the workplace can lead to some men talking smack and convincing each other stupid ideas are actually good ones. There are a lot of security contractors out here, and when a group of macho guys gets together for a party... let's just say they are not painting their nails and giggling about Gossip Girl all night.

You know how Catholic students are always famous for being oversexed and repressed? Riyadh is Catholic school on a grand scale. The segregation of sexes and resulting lack of visual and social contact between men and women adds to the pressure cooker that boils over when certain parties provide opportunities for both genders to let loose.

Let's not blame it all on the guys and the parties because there are some nothing-to-lose women on the prowl in Riyadh too, and they are just as lonely and desperate for coochicoo as any man is. Single women in Riyadh? Yes! There are plenty, and they are usually either nurses or teachers.

To be fair, it's not all because of the Saudi environment, there are of course the universal factors such as long distance being difficult in general, and many relationships having deep cracks in them to begin with. If a couple has trust issues or faithfulness issues or I-settled-when-I-married-you issues, Riyadh is probably not a great idea no matter how good the money is.

I write all this because my hubster is a two timing cheatin' liar and I'm going to Bobbitt him later tonight. I jest. We are trucking along as we always have partly because I'm married to Jesus. I suppose I don't have any real motivation for posting on this topic other than hearing one too many stories of coupledom crumbling. It's probably more therapeutic to put on a Pixar movie than to blog about it, but heck I'm in a mood. And now you're in one. You're welcome ;)

30 comments:

diana said...

Hey, there! Great blog! :) I'm from Jeddah, but I've lived in Riyadh for a while so I love reading your posts. More!!

Orchidthief said...

hey diana, thanks for stopping by. I'll try to keep going!!

Carola said...

You are back!
Be brave and keep blogging, it is a delight to read you - even when the subject is not very nice..

D said...

ooh, my husband was a security contractor in Baghdad and cheated on me with a low class piece of white trash who worked for USAID.

interesting comment on loneliness and the "hanging with the guys" being catalysts for cheating; I think living in a fantasy world divorced from their real life in American is also part of it, but I hadn't considered the two reasons you propose. I think you are more right than me on the reasons.

keep us (me?) posted on what you decide to do about this. i'm still married, still trying to forgive, and sometimes wondering why. it helps me to hear the experiences & stories of those going thru similar trials.

Abdullah AlSayed-AlHashem said...

That's totally right

every day is struggling with yourself
your word : disintegration is very truthful

keep the pace ,

and fight back! find somebody else (like me hehehe :P)

Orchidthief said...

Thanks for stopping by with your comment Carola!

And D I am sorry to hear that your husband cheated on you. Unfortunately it seems to be more common than not. Living in the middle east is so much of a departure from real life that it's not really a stretch to call it a "fantasty land" is it?

I am afraid that I may have given people the wrong impression with my last paragraph. My husband has not actually cheated on me, on the contrary he treats me so well I feel guilty sometimes about it, hence the reference to being married to Jesus. He seldom does or says anything wrong. I was only joking or "jesting" about him cheating on me.

Though my heart goes out to those of you who have to deal with this.

Welcome To Mommyland said...

Hi,
I have lived in Riyadh for 1.5 years. I find myself jealous because my husband has a life here and I am stuck home with the kids. I cannot wait for each holiday out of the Kingdom!

ipv6 said...

ah coochicoo, sound familiar albeit in different pronunciation..

Anonymous said...

hi there, nice blog. stumbled upon it while searching for luthan spa. looking forward to reading the rest of it! :)

Christelle said...

Wow, you hit the nail on the head with this one. All around us we see those couples, sometimes for one night and sometimes for a long while. But it's still cheating with one or both guilty parties. Loneliness drives you to do crazy things!

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the blog!!! As someone whose hubby has cheated in the past I'm not sure that this blog makes me feel any better. My hubby just went to Riyadh to work for the next 2 years. He is currently living in housing that the hospital set up and is thinking of moving off campus. I hope he can do the right thing.

Nidal said...

I stumbled upon your blog while I’m trying to look for anything in Riyadh that resembles life. And I must say, since I’m a guy at 20smthng, I can relate to the loneliness you mentioned. Though I don’t have a girlfriend back home, but the sense of the feminine presence, whether a sister, a friend or a special someone, or in the general environment provides sort of emotional stability. And it works both ways for women I guess

SGWrites said...

Lovely blog :) xx
A new follower from www.sunniewrites.blogspot.com, would love if your follow me back on my blog too <3 <3 <3 xxx

Spider said...

Well can only confirm this is going on. This destroyed my marriage. I don't know much about other compounds, but a popular one - owned by a British company is flooded with single nurses who's got big party time there the weekends. Just have to know somebody there and then they have access to the compound and can have overnight stays ;-) I don't say they are all like that, but they are there, singles and apparently desperate to find a man. Don't care if he's married or not. Unconscionable hunting men. And some men just can't resist the temptation. I have been there - seen it....

alkhateeb said...

i dint know about Riyadh

Apartments for Sale

Dr Purva Pius said...

Hello Everybody,
My name is Mrs Sharon Sim. I live in Singapore and i am a happy woman today? and i told my self that any lender that rescue my family from our poor situation, i will refer any person that is looking for loan to him, he gave me happiness to me and my family, i was in need of a loan of S$250,000.00 to start my life all over as i am a single mother with 3 kids I met this honest and GOD fearing man loan lender that help me with a loan of S$250,000.00 SG. Dollar, he is a GOD fearing man, if you are in need of loan and you will pay back the loan please contact him tell him that is Mrs Sharon, that refer you to him. contact Dr Purva Pius,via email:(urgentloan22@gmail.com) Thank you.

Linda Rycroft said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Linda Rycroft said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Linda Rycroft said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Linda Rycroft said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Osman Mohammed said...


$$$ GENUINE LOAN WITH 3% INTEREST RATE APPLY NOW$$$
Do you need finance to start up your own business or expand your business, Do you need funds to pay off your debt? We give out loan to interested individuals and company's who are seeking loan with good faith. Are you seriously in need of an urgent loan contact us.
Email:flourishloancredite@gmail.com
LOAN APPLICATION DETAILS.
First Name:
Last Name:
Date Of Birth:
Address:
Sex:
Phone No:
City:
Zip Code:
State:
Country:
Nationality:
Occupation:
Monthly Income:
Loan Amount:
Loan Duration:
Purpose of the loan:
where did you hear about us;
Email:flourishloancredite@gmail.com

gary steve said...

ROYALTY LENDING FIRM funded another 2nd position hard money loan on a 8 unit building at 40% CLTV with $1,500,000 cash-out going to the borrower and we offered the borrower Stated Income program

We funded this loan without an appraisal and closed 2 days from start to finish.

Borrower was able to purchase the property he wanted the cash-out without any headaches.

Let us fund your next hard money loan in 1-3 days

Contact:
Email: royaltypersonalloan1@gmail.com
Whatsapp +1 (903)-345-5329

Abdul Muqse said...

Good Day Sir/Madam: Do you need an urgent loan to finance your business or in any purpose? We are certified and legitimate and international licensed loan lender we offer loans to Business firms. Individuals, companies firms, corporate bodies at an affordable interest rate of 3%. It might be a short or long term loan or even if you have poor credit. We shall process your loan as soon as we receive your application. We are an independent financial institution. We have built up an excellent reputation over the years in providing various types of loans to thousands of our customers. We offer Educational loan, Business loan, home loan, Agricultural loan, Personal loan, Auto loan with either a good or bad credit history. If you are interested in our above loan offer you are advice to fill the below information and return to us for more details. You can contact us with this email (standardonlineinvestment@gmail.com) we shall respond to you as soon as we receive your loan application details below.

First name:
Middle name:
Date of birth (yyyy-mm-dd):
Gender:
Marital status:
Total Amount Needed:
Time Duration:
Address:
Currency Needed
City:
State/province:
Zip/postal code:
Country:
Phone:
Mobile/cellular:
Monthly Income:
Occupation:
Which sites did you know about us.....
( standardonlineinvestment@gmail.com )for immediate attention. Contact
us now and get an urgent loan within two (2) days!!!
Regards,
Mr Abdul Muqse

Abdul Muqse said...

Do you need an urgent loan for business or to pay bills at 3% interest rate? We offer Personal Loan, Real Estate Loan, Business Loan and others to prospective individuals, companies, cooperate bodies as well as organizations. No matter your credits score ranging from $5000 dollars to $50,000,000.00 duration period of 1 to 30 years Please allow up to 12 hours after applying for a loan to be contacted Any interested person should contact us with the below information. Email Us: standardonlineinvestment@gmail.com

Tell: +1-518-546-5101 (Call/Whats app)

Osman Mohammed said...

$$$ GENUINE LOAN WITH 3% INTEREST RATE APPLY NOW$$$
Do you need finance to start up your own business or expand your business, Do you need funds to pay off your debt? We give out loan to interested individuals and company's who are seeking loan with good faith. Are you seriously in need of an urgent loan contact us.
Email:flourishloancredite@gmail.com
LOAN APPLICATION DETAILS.
First Name:
Last Name:
Date Of Birth:
Address:
Sex:
Phone No:
City:
Zip Code:
State:
Country:
Nationality:
Occupation:
Monthly Income:
Loan Amount:
Loan Duration:
Purpose of the loan:
where did you hear about us;
Email:flourishloancredite@gmail.com

osma raheem. said...

Hello Everybody,
My name is Ahmad Asnul Brunei, I contacted Mr Osman Loan Firm for a business loan amount of $250,000, Then i was told about the step of approving my requested loan amount, after taking the risk again because i was so much desperate of setting up a business to my greatest surprise, the loan amount was credited to my bank account within 24 banking hours without any stress of getting my loan. I was surprise because i was first fall a victim of scam! If you are interested of securing any loan amount & you are located in any country, I'll advise you can contact Mr Osman Loan Firm via email osmanloanserves@gmail.com

LOAN APPLICATION INFORMATION FORM
First name......
Middle name.....
2) Gender:.........
3) Loan Amount Needed:.........
4) Loan Duration:.........
5) Country:.........
6) Home Address:.........
7) Mobile Number:.........
8) Email address..........
9) Monthly Income:.....................
10) Occupation:...........................
11)Which site did you here about us.....................
Thanks and Best Regards.
Derek Email osmanloanserves@gmail.com





Hello Everybody,
My name is Ahmad Asnul Brunei, I contacted Mr Osman Loan Firm for a business loan amount of $250,000, Then i was told about the step of approving my requested loan amount, after taking the risk again because i was so much desperate of setting up a business to my greatest surprise, the loan amount was credited to my bank account within 24 banking hours without any stress of getting my loan. I was surprise because i was first fall a victim of scam! If you are interested of securing any loan amount & you are located in any country, I'll advise you can contact Mr Osman Loan Firm via email osmanloanserves@gmail.com

LOAN APPLICATION INFORMATION FORM
First name......
Middle name.....
2) Gender:.........
3) Loan Amount Needed:.........
4) Loan Duration:.........
5) Country:.........
6) Home Address:.........
7) Mobile Number:.........
8) Email address..........
9) Monthly Income:.....................
10) Occupation:...........................
11)Which site did you here about us.....................
Thanks and Best Regards.
Derek Email osmanloanserves@gmail.com






Hello Everybody,
My name is Ahmad Asnul Brunei, I contacted Mr Osman Loan Firm for a business loan amount of $250,000, Then i was told about the step of approving my requested loan amount, after taking the risk again because i was so much desperate of setting up a business to my greatest surprise, the loan amount was credited to my bank account within 24 banking hours without any stress of getting my loan. I was surprise because i was first fall a victim of scam! If you are interested of securing any loan amount & you are located in any country, I'll advise you can contact Mr Osman Loan Firm via email osmanloanserves@gmail.com

LOAN APPLICATION INFORMATION FORM
First name......
Middle name.....
2) Gender:.........
3) Loan Amount Needed:.........
4) Loan Duration:.........
5) Country:.........
6) Home Address:.........
7) Mobile Number:.........
8) Email address..........
9) Monthly Income:.....................
10) Occupation:...........................
11)Which site did you here about us.....................
Thanks and Best Regards.
Derek Email osmanloanserves@gmail.com

Agent Of Global Online Finance said...

Good Day Sir/Madam: Do you need an urgent loan to finance your business or in any purpose? We are certified and legitimate and international licensed loan lender we offer loans to Business firms. Individuals, companies firms, corporate bodies at an affordable interest rate of 3%. It might be a short or long term loan or even if you have poor credit. We shall process your loan as soon as we receive your application. We are an independent financial institution. We have built up an excellent reputation over the years in providing various types of loans to thousands of our customers. We offer Educational loan, Business loan, home loan, Agricultural loan, Personal loan, Auto loan with either a good or bad credit history. If you are interested in our above loan offer you are advice to fill the below information and return to us for more details. You can contact us with this email (globalonlinefinance@gmail.com) we shall respond to you as soon as we receive your loan application details below.

First name:
Middle name:
Date of birth (yyyy-mm-dd):
Gender:
Marital status:
Total Amount Needed:
Time Duration:
Address:
Currency Needed
City:
State/province:
Zip/postal code:
Country:
Phone:
Mobile/cellular:
Monthly Income:
Occupation:
Which sites did you know about us.....
( globalonlinefinance@gmail.com )for immediate attention. Contact
us now and get an urgent loan within two (2) days!!!
Regards,
Mr Hameed Youssef

Ryan Fletcher said...

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH FOR THE WISE,PROSPER LOAN FIRM IS THE ONLY WAY OUT FROM ANY FINANCIAL DIFFICULTIES { prosperloanfirm@yahoo.com }

Greetings great mind, It will be my greatest pleasure saving Individuals and companies from extortion, I know not everyone will want to take it upon their self to reveal the bitter truth about online Lending because of insecurity, Time of doing it and all that. I Ryan F. Tyler, an outstanding businessman who reside at Oakland, California has taken it upon himself to share this article to whom it may concern so they can learn and educate their self from it . It's bad to the extend where you see testimonies online about getting a loan and it turn out to be fake. For real i have fallen for that tricks countless time to the extend i lost almost 65,000usd in total all in the name of getting a loan to invest in a very lucrative business. After so many failed attempt of securing a loan, I and my Manager went online to do a thorough search and found this company PROSPER LOAN FIRM +1(816) 366-8769 ) but before giving it a try we also went ahead to make sure they are registered under BBB, check their reviews and also go to their headquarter to confirm their existence and capability.We were so careful because we didn't wanted to lose any dime again and to our greatest expectation they deliver according to their review and grant us our desire loan amount of 510,000.00Usd. A word to everyone out there when it comes to Online Lenders contact only PROSPER LOAN FIRM via email: { prosperloanfirm@yahoo.com } or drop a message to them via text at +1(816) 366-8769 and consider all your financial problems tackled and solved.#SHARE, You can rescue someone from been victimized today, Thanks....

Unknown said...

Are you tired of seeking loans and Mortgages,have you been turned down constantly By your banks and other financial institutions,We offer any form of loan to individuals and corporate bodies at low interest rate.If you are interested in taking a loan,feel free to contact us today,we promise to offer you the best services ever.Just give us a try,because a trial will convince you.What are your Financial needs?Do you need a business loan?Do you need a personal loan?Do you want to buy a car?Do you want to refinance?Do you need a mortgage loan?Do you need a huge capital to start off your business proposal or expansion? Have you lost hope and you think there is no way out, and your financial burdens still persists? Contact us (gaincreditloan1@gmail.com )

Your Name:...............
Your Country:...............
Your Occupation:...............
Loan Amount Needed:...............
Loan Duration...............
Monthly Income:...............
Your Telephone Number:.....................
Business Plan/Use Of Your Loan:...............
Contact Us At : gaincreditloan1@gmail.com

Urgent Loan Offer said...

My Brothers and Sister all over the world, I am Mrs Boo Wheat from Canada ; i was in need of loan some month ago. i needed a loan to open my restaurant and bar, when one of my long time business partner introduce me to this good and trustful loan lender DR PURVA PIUS that help me out with a loan, and is interest rate is very low , thank God today. I am now a successful business woman, and I became useful. In the life of others, I now hold a restaurant and bar. And about 30 workers, thank GOD for my life I am leaving well today a happy father with three kids, thanks to you DR PURVA PIUS Now I can take care of my lovely family, i can now pay my bill. I am now the bread winner of my family. If you are look for a trustful and reliable loan leader. You can Email him via,mail (urgentloan22@gmail.com) Please tell him Mrs Boo Wheat from Canada introduce you to him. THANKS